Dearly apart-ed

A good friend of mine had a parent pass away recently. And it shook me more than I realised these past couple of weeks. Being in our late twenties, my friends and I… we are at that stage where this is going to be a regular or at least normal thing – death. Our families are getting on in their years, and with life being so unpredictable… it really doesn’t matter what age you are because anything could happen.

So yes you could say that death has been on my mind – or rather unresolved issues.

If you were to let me know that by the end of this blog post, if I had dropped dead would I be okay with that… I think for the most part the answer is yes. Of course, I have my plans – so much to do and see but in the trajectory I’m going (which is definitely upward)… I have put myself out there completely into the world.

“The man who lives fully is prepared to die at anytime” – Mark Twain

The way I see it, leaving things unresolved has little to do with the dearly departed and everything to do with those left behind. The guilt, the anger, the shock etc.

“Life asked death, ‘Why do people love me but hate you?’ Death responded, ‘Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.” —Author unknown

What is it about death that brings a people together? That we then start to glorify a person’s character or actions. Suddenly words like forgiveness, reconciliation and atonement are what matter. For some people, their biggest fear is no one pitching up for their funeral…for some it’s never freeing themselves of the resentment or pain they’ve kept burdened by for so long.

Death is almost always selfish, people taking ownership of pain and suffering. Who is entitled to hurt more? It leaves me confused – holding onto issues which are important to me, but am I just supposed let go out of fear of my own or another’s mortality? Wouldn’t that mean that the issue was petty and a complete waste of time or I was too prideful?

We anger for a reason. We become vengeful or bitter, depressed or indifferent. What matters is the present and future, and if these emotions aren’t holding you back from moving forward… if people are unhappy with your path or your gait… that’s for them to concern themselves about.

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