It was 24 December 2015 when I sat in the pew of my church and struggled to hold back tears. Christmas has always been my favourite time of year, particularly midnight mass with the glowing windows in the flickering candlelight – the joyous and surprisingly solemn songs that just invoke awe when you realise people have been singing the same tunes for centuries. That Christmas was hard, I was lost and I found little solace in the beauty and ritual I had always appreciated. It was daunting heading in to a new year… unemployed, with little to no support, really what was there to celebrate with such little prospects on the horizon.
Something, though that I have always appreciated within myself was my tenacity – a dogmatic will to never fail…or fail, but never fail to hard to the point where one just gives up, gives out and gives in.
Now, it is September, and the roller coaster ride has finally slowed to a stop – I’m getting out, slightly sick but exhilarated at the journey it has taken to get here.
On Tuesday, I was exactly where I was supposed to be, no longer lost… I can’t say too much now, but hopefully I will be dropping some good news in the coming weeks.
Have you ever just stood and grasped the fact that “This is my moment, this is it, right here, right now… and it’s for me to lose.” Every part of me is on fire, it’s electric and everything so crystal clear.
There’s no way I’m going to play games with my life this time – I’ve worked too hard to get back to the feeling that anything and everything is possible.
I have opportunities.
I’m talking to friends about Bali for New Year, and have already planned Ireland for my birthday, possibly Jordan/Egypt after that.
Plans are in place, education wise… a whole mini-thesis formulated in my head on at least 5 different topics… UNISA I’m ready, Georgetown start preparing.
I need to be happier and appreciate my success… I hit the bottom and bounced back.
Now I ask you – are you where you are supposed to be? Are you doing everything you can to get there? If not, what next?