Selfish, impatient and a little insecure

1 Corinthians 13:4- My Version

Love is impatient, love is unkind. It makes you jealous, possessive and a braggart and removes all sense of pride. You dishonor the rational voice inside your head, you become attention-seeking, quick to anger, every wrong doing recorded and internalized and never forgotten.  Love blinds you from the evil of others, and denies the truth that is so painfully apparent. It exposes you, ramifications make you distrustful and destroys all hope and perseverance. 

Love often fails. There is no way to prophesize this. There are no tongues that will indulge you in information that you could’ve, should’ve, would’ve known before hand. There is no true knowledge of love – no lessons learned or anything gained. 

Although I don’t want to believe this is true, love often takes away everything from me. I am someone who is logical, trusting and strong but in love I become jealous, moody and paranoid.

“I’m fine”- Fucked up. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.

I’m trying to change though. To believe in the ideal world of Disney and even Bible versus. It’s not easy and sometimes I slip up. I just need that special person to wait it out through this journey with me.

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