I fell in love with Him, all over again. I reread text messages which revealed the excitement of getting to know someone new. How open we were and honest, so easy to talk about anything. We laughed, flirted, got down right sexy and there were times to be serious too.
I have so much faith that we will work out in the end, I’ve stopped pretending and have embraced the hope that keeps me thinking about Him everyday, constantly.
I don’t think I’m being pathetic or naive. I know most of my friends have the opinion that I’m crazy and being played for a fool. They pity me, can’t believe that I’m allowing myself to go through this.
Maybe it won’t work out, but it shouldn’t make me weak for trying
to believe in people. And I can’t resent Him if I’m crushed. Because I choose to believe in Him. My choice or mistake. It can only make me stronger.
I’m tired of thinking, which is why I’ve embraced feeling. It’s scary and overwhelming and I hate that I can’t control it, distract myself or dismiss it. Feelings tell me that this is real, worth it. Once again, it doesn’t mean I’m not being a realist about the situation.
And still I keep hoping, imagining grand statements, future cuddles and the last of my tears.