Step 8: I make a list of persons that I have harmed and become willing to make amends

When you are younger they tell you that your actions have the ability to hurt other people. However, when we grow older, and possibly more selfish, this saying changes to the idea that we are only hurting ourselves in the long run. This hits closer to home because by nature, being selfish beings, and our actions driven by our own agendas, we realise that we our own destructive force and since our nature primes us to selfishly succeed, we avoid failure and avoid hurting ourselves.

Relationships are flimsy things- trust is hard to earn and is easily lost. There is a spider web that supports you, capable of holding hundreds of times its mass yet can easily be demolished with the sweep of a hand. Relationships are the strands of a web, intertwining you and whether you like it or not, supporting you from falling. It is easy to create new strands, but all that is left is multiple strands which are weak due to the lack of time spent working on the support system.

So when I do decide to venture out, possibly because there is something quite juicy dangling just out of my reach, and without checking that the support structures are there, I fall. I can be angry and resentfully- “you were supposed to catch me”- but it’s easy to forget that everyone else is busy nurturing and cultivating their own webs too.

imagesCAPBCRTQTo my family and my friends, I am sorry for not being as strong as I thought I could be… but thank you for still being there and holding me together.


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