What happens when you have a run in with the man who assaulted you?

I guess that a smile and a hug aren’t the most logical or expected reactions. Although, how am I supposed to act any different? I can’t exactly go into a screaming, crying mess and completely disregard the life I’m trying to carry on living. The world moves on and unfortunately  no man or feeble woman has discovered a way to prevent its continuous rotation.

It won’t change anything, it won’t change the past and what happened. I don’t want to defend the guy, although I’m probably not doing a good job of convincing you otherwise, but really, how is he supposed to know that I’m  near fainting and feel cold and in pain- a gigantic brain freeze of my body? That moment when you feel cold in your bones and no amount of friction can warm you up. Not exactly a conversation you bring up on the way to the bank.

But it got me thinking about how many women still see their assaulters going about their daily lives, I can’t be the only one. I didn’t report the incident. But lets say I had and joined (optimistically speaking) the braver, stronger 50% and reported it. Less than half of the reported cases would have become a court case. And so then if I was lucky to have my case referred to a court, there would be more than 50% chance that the case would have been withdrawn, thrown out or settled out of court.

I’m not the best at maths but lets say that I did go all the proper routes… there would be an 11% chance that the man who assaulted me would face conviction and that I wouldn’t have to see him all spiffy and suited up, going about his business.

I have a gambling nature, the odds just aren’t in  my favor and for a lot of women in South Africa.


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