I don’t believe in perfection, there really is no such thing which is quite ironic considering my perfectionist tendencies. People while being beautiful and amazing beings are completely screwed up but our flaws make us human and separate us from the divine.
Even certain deities who I zealously follow have some flaws. Artemis, the Greek goddess, is my patron. She is known as the virgin goddess of the hunt- she is a warrior and epitomizes strength and honor. Despite her virgin status, she is also the goddess of fertility and aids women in childbirth. However Artemis is also jealous, possessive and has a temper, able to seek vengeance on those who betray her, her friends and family. There are many contradictions about her behavior but that is also what makes her so inspiring. For example she protected women in labor however she could bring about sudden death to them while they were giving birth, she had power to heal but also spread diseases. What is the most important thing to me about Artemis was that she would never allow any man to dishonor her in any form.
I believe in the perfect balance, that is what I aspire to. The ultimate yin yang, good and evil. Naughty and nice, sweet and spice is pretty much how I wish to be.
I think I do have a problem with pride and the way I present myself, call it narcissism or whatever but being represented in a good light, in being perfectly balanced is important to me. It’s hard for me to ask for help and to admit when I am wrong. I take on too much to the point of being overwhelmed and I feel good by taking care of other people and it’s dangerous to have so much of your happiness connected to other people’s happiness.
I need to learn that balance isn’t such an amazing thing because it is perfect, but rather because it can become unbalanced at times which is frightening and dangerous, but that is ok because sooner, rather than later, it will right itself again.