My only limitation is myself, I am my own obstacle. It is so morbidly intriguing to realize that when it is so late a stage, but I guess that I am stubborn- hard headed in all the wrong ways. So yes, I realized my weaknesses through the trouble I have caused and the people that I have hurt.
It is hard to see myself clearly, and I’m sure it is the same for many people. My own perception of myself is high, to the point where vanity clouds my judgment and actions, and at times so low that you would scarcely recognize the person I believe myself to be. Whatever the perception of myself is, or the perception I put out there it really doesn’t matter as the constant view that society and your environment has of you dictates what you are, no matter how optimistic self-help books sell you dreams of otherwise.
For this rehabilitation, my family and friends are my support system. They are trustworthy and have guided me over the past few weeks, well. It has been a relief to have them in my life, and I thank the goddess everyday over how blessed I am. As I’ve said before, I am nervous at putting all my trust in these people, I am so used to getting things done by myself. But if I continue in the same pattern I have for most of my life, I will go crazy- or crazier than normal.